My Time to Deal With It!

The Confrontation

2009-02-20T22:21:00.000-08:00

“A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”

Psalm 34:19(NIV)

Confronting the debilitating areas in my life and publicly sharing them has brought liberation, but not without a price. Accompanying my liberty is increased accountability. 1 Chronicles 4:10: Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. I have become accountable, not only to family and friends but, to each person this series touches. My father made a profound statement at one of his recent Pastoral Anniversary Celebrations. He said, “To Pastor the way I pastor, makes me public property.” I am my daddy’s seed, and the Lord desires to display, through my obedience to this call, the destruction of STRONGHOLDS. “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” – He is EXPOSING. He desires that you see the working out of His good and perfect will (Romans 12:2). He is gracing you with a glimpse of how all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Frequently, the areas He chooses to EXPOSE we prefer to leave hidden. Our preference is addressing the surface items first, and He begins with those areas where the strongholds are the greatest. Why does He choose the most painful and difficult areas to address so early in our decision to submit to His cleansing? He does so because HE IS GOD! (I would cringe when people would give me this answer, but it is true. He owes us no explanation for how He chooses to fulfill His plans for our lives. Read Job 38-42:1-6)

Accepting God’s call to address the unhealthy areas in my life, and making a public declaration regarding this call has been life-changing! It has shaken and shattered the very barriers I constructed internally and externally to keep PEOPLE at a distance. My Husband often jokingly shares with PEOPLE, if he would allow me, I could live in a room alone and be content. Even though this statement is made in jest, it is painfully true! Okay, this was revelatory for me or a “WOW!” moment as my sister-in-law, Tabitha, would say. “I FEAR RELATIONSHIP!” As the Holy Spirit continues to usher me to my destined place of deliverance/healing, He is revealing feelings I couldn’t identify until recently. Being able to identify/label how I feel has been so refreshing! Confessing/Talking about it is a necessary step in the healing process. For years this STRONGHOLD/place from which this fear ruled my life has been ignored. My ignorance about and disregard for this place (except when storing each new disappointment, pain, or betrayal experienced) was the sustenance it needed to strengthen it's grip. Well, the time has now come for EXPOSURE, AND YES, THE DEMOLISHING OF THIS PRISON OF PAIN.

Come away with me as I share snap shots of my CONFRONTATION with the, “FEAR OF RELATIONSHIPS!”

Am I alone in my quest to overcome the damage caused by unhealthy relationships; and, the desire for healing? If not, let me hear from you! Join me in the pursuit of relational healing!

Until next month……………..

Submitting to His Will,

Tamara D. Pope

MEET THE MOTIVATION BEHIND THE "MY TIME TO DEAL WITH IT!" SERIES MY SON DANTE'

2008-04-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

by Dante' Pope

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-7)”

The passage above assists many believers in their walk with Christ. It serves as a pillar of hope and power when faith is lost and gives a sense of direction when life becomes overwhelming. It was also one of the first scriptures I learned in Sunday school along with John 3:16 and Romans 8:28. As I grew older in age and experience, the scripture read a little more like this; “Trust in the Lord and He shall direct your paths.” I completely removed the middle of this scripture due to lack of faith not only in God, but myself. The “My Time to Deal with It,” series has challenged me to gain a better understanding of God, through learning more about me.

January 31, 2007 marked the date I returned home from Fisk University during the second semester of my junior year. This was not a casual visit, I was home for good. Due to lack of funds I was unable to continue my education for the remainder of the semester. To make matters worse, I couldn’t go to any other university because my academic transcripts were not to be released until I paid the balance I owed, $18,200.92. I was completely miserable. Dante Namone Pope, son of Pastor David Michael Pope and grandson of Pastor Wilson Daniels was no longer in college. I felt like a complete failure and was more embarrassed than I had ever been in my life. As the eldest grandchild and sibling in my home, I thought I let everyone down.

My life as a “Preachers Kid” was a major dichotomy. On one end I was expected to be a flawless, perfect, spiritually sound young man and at the same time I wanted to just be a normal guy. The problem this caused is that I never learned who I really was; I was “role playing.” I wanted so bad to be accepted that I became a chameleon. I could be put in any environment and easily adapt, but I never felt comfortable. The expectations of both my family and peers weighed heavy on my mind because I wanted to please everybody. At Fisk I was not known as the son of Pastor Pope or grandson of Pastor Daniels, I was just Dante’ and was allowed the freedom to be judged based on my actions alone and not who my family was. Leaving Fisk meant I had to return to this former life that I was not yet prepared to face again. I felt much like Barak in the book of Judges 4-5, who was commanded to take ten thousand men to Mount Tabor to battle King Sisera and his army. He was unsure of how God would use him in this “impossible” situation, yet he was obedient. I had no choice but to be obedient, return home and “Deal with It”.

In the book of Acts chapter 9, a man by the name of Saul is mentioned as a persecutor of Christians. One day, while Saul was on one of his journeys of persecution, as he was nearing Damascus, he suddenly found himself surrounded by a very bright light. He fell to the ground and heard a voice from the heavens say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me?" It was the voice of Christ and the conversation that followed brought Saul to the understanding of his error which was; Christianity was not a threat to the Jews, but rather the fulfillment of all that they hold true. Like Saul I was humbled by my experience and was brought to the realization that all I wish to accomplish is directly connected to my faithfulness to God; even graduating from college. All this was done to get my attention and I had no choice but to surrender. I realized I was leaning on my own understanding and as a result I could not acknowledge God in my ways, because I didn’t know who he was.

While at home my relationship with God grew tremendously. Not only as a result of my own personal time, but as a result of the changes I saw in my parents. Their relationships with God as well as this series intensified their dedication and I was encouraged and felt safe. This was where I was meant to be. I did not forget my goal of finishing school, but I knew that God had to prepare me for the next phase of my life.

Currently, I am in Washington, D.C. working on Capitol Hill. In the past year I have had many character building experiences. I have also had experiences that caused me to question what God is doing. Yet, I must remain faithful and trust that he will provide. I am still working on getting back into school and look forward to graduating. When times get rough I am encouraged by this scripture: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. (Romans 8:28-30)”

Be Blessed!

MY TESTIMONY

2008-04-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

by Marsha Earl

These sessions have been a tremendous blessing to me. Oh my God have they been challenging for me. I didn't even realize I had secret places and that God doesn't reside there. These sessions has caused me to let the Lord uncover those secret places because if He doesn't reside there then satan does. Since Jesus is Lord in my life He has to have every part of me so the process begins/continues. Yes the contents in my secret places were toxic and needed to be gutted out. It was created to harbor or store all the unpleasant experiences that I had to endure but really couldn't. Like growing up knowing my father never wanted me affected all of my relationships. I often lashed out at people trying to get the last word trying to cover the hurt. I would do almost anything to get any kind of attention. I was starving for love and began seeking for it in the wrong places and people since I didn't know what true love was. I now know what agape love is and I will soon experience the love that husbands and wives share. I ended up putting my self in the position to be sexually, physically, and emotionally abused just to get and sadly still did not. I now accept my part in those offences and now forgive myself. My late God Father Rev. Albert Grant told me many times "if you play on satan's football team expect to get tackled." One reason being he doesn't play fair and most importantly you're outside of God's will a very dangerous place to be. Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world and I am more than a conqueror. I had been praying to the Lord for sometime trying to find my purpose, my destiny. I was tired of getting to destinations and still not being fulfilled. I have always been very active in church work and the work of the church trying to witness to others about the God I serve in words and deeds. I have been unfulfilled for many years even doing things I love to do like singing and directing the choir. I had gotten so tired of business as usual, no accountability, everybody doing their own thing, continuing to do the same thing getting the same results and being satisfied with no results. God deserves the best of everything we have because it all belongs to Him and He is truly worthy. My desire is to please Him with everything I've got and that desire has propelled me to this place. I got tired of being used by people. Some of them knew I was hurting and I desperately wanted to be apart of something anything and they used that to their advantage most times not to the glory of God. God has since shown me my friends and my enemies through very painful experiences. He said when my ways please Him my enemies are made to be at peace with me. I realize now through K.S.I.M. most of those experiences I brought on myself not having the proper guidance and support systems and then choosing not to line up with the word of God. That has caused many costly mistakes that I have been forced to deal with this past year. I came to the My Time to Deal With It sessions out of obedience to my mentors Pastor and Sis. Pope. I always expect the Lord to do great things but I didn't have anything specific in mind. I didn't know what to expect I just came. The Lord has been speaking to me like never before. He has been showing me things I didn't understand that scared me so I kept resisting when He would speak. He revealed several things to me in the spirit. They might not seem important to you but they have been life changing for me. 1..It's ok that I don't know everything because He would guide me into all truths. 2. There will be things I wouldn't understand I just have to be obedient(very important in this season). He rewards faithfulness. 3.Every time I would go after Him (3 or 4 times a day every I've done in this season is out of character for me I did what was necessary never above and beyond) I would cry uncontrollably and He keeps sending me to the floor to lay before Him. He said the tears are because He is healing the hurts. 4. Laying before Him is the act of total submission of everything. (He now has complete control and can fill every part of me with His love. I have casted all my cares on Him and He does truly care for me. 5. He said He's my provider I don't have to worry about anything. I just have to continue to seek Him and all His righteousness and all the other things would be added. Almost 9 years ago I suffered several accidents and had to struggle to get to where I am today which I thought was no where. I don't have a career, decent housing, no 2nd or 3rd degree, no car, and loss of vision. These are things I had or were in the process of obtaining when the accidents occurred. I didn't receive a lot of compassion people were more concerned about all the things I could no longer do for or give them (people pleasing was a stronghold in my life). This fueled the struggle with depression I was already enduring. I can focus on the things I do have that money can never buy the Grace, Mercy, and Peace of God that passes all knowledge. The Lord obviously had other plans for my life if not for those experiences I would not be in the place of deliverance now or even know that I needed deliverance. I considered my self a very independent person not dependent on anyone but the Lord. Now all that's changed and I am more dependent on the Lord. God also said He was removing the box (comfort zone). Although, my praise and worship was always different He has even changed that because it was tainted by that addiction of people pleasing. I sometimes would fight it because people didn't understand my praise. God said I could not continue to hide in the box because what He is preparing me for was not there so I had to come out of hiding. Although, I came to the sessions not expecting anything specific, God has shown me several areas to deal with. I am now delivered from fear, stubbornness, lying to fit in, people pleasing, insecurity, trust issues, low self-esteem all rooted in the fear of rejection. I know if I don't want to go back to that dark place where God is not I have to tailor my environment for success. I am increasing my prayer time. I am committing more scriptures to memory. I am hiding God's word in my heart so that I might not sin against him. I've already given my body to Him 13 years ago that was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am so happy that the Lord led me to K.S.I.M. at such a time as this. A ministry with a purpose to lead people to a better quality of life. A place where I belong. A place of freedom. A place where I am truly loved and appreciated for me. A place where I can do me a God Pleaser. God has used my mentors to stretch me giving me what I need to stick to it. I will continue to work the process because I now know my motivators my family, my nephew(Taquarius) not wanting him to suffer like I did and now God has renewed the burden to see my God daughters Chloe, Adrienne, and Allyne delivered. I'm going to stay on the wall because my deliverance is the key to so many others being free. So I am ready to stay the course. God has started a great work in me a mighty woman of God and will perform it until the very day. This is my ministry bringing the youth especially young ladies to the Lord through intercessory prayer, encouragement, and my continued obedience to the Lord Adonai my Lord and Master.

"People Are Dying In My Silence"

2008-03-14T05:45:00.000-07:00

By Zachary W. Lavender

The title of this article may be a bit disturbing to some, however, that is not the purpose or the intent. I so desire that every reader fully understand the whole premise and purpose of this article. I must make this disclaimer; I am not bashing homosexuals, I am not ridiculing homosexuals nor am I teaching or promoting hate toward homosexuals in any shape or form.

The homosexual lifestyle has taken my life in a whirlwind of confusion, deception, indecisiveness and a stronghold that is totally indescribable. For over 35 years I had struggled with my identity and sexuality to the point of not wanting to understand why God created me. But, something inside of me knew that the homosexual lifestyle was not the reason God designed me, yet, I wanted to live it, breathe it, and enter into every aspect of the behavior. It was not until November of 2000 I had a wake up call that would actually revolutionize my total existence and reason for life. I was diagnosed with the HIV virus - - the virus that causes AIDS. I had landed on a plateau that would set the rest of my life on a journey I never anticipated.

For seven very confusing and arduous years, I went on with life as if nothing was troubling me. I knew at any moment I could possibly have full-blown AIDS, and there was absolutely no one I could share my pain, my hurt, my discontentment, my embarrassment, my struggle with other than God. I was in trouble and I did not want to burden someone else with this very disturbing situation.

In the spring of 2007, I had a routine check-up with my primary care physician who proceeded with blood-work. Toward the end of the week, my doctor called and asked me to come in so that she could meet with me. At that time it was revealed to me all the blood-work for the HIV virus had come back negative. According to the doctor, I did not have the HIV virus. THERE WAS NO TRACE OF THE BLOOD IN MY BODY! At that very moment, while sitting in the doctor’s office, I experienced God’s presence.

The healing of HIV was not the only move of God in my life that led me to my deliverance from homosexuality. It was God’s Word and His power that destroyed the yokes of bondage and the deception of the enemy. When I begin to open the Word and allow what He has already said about my existence, my deliverance came forth. I made up my mind that I no longer wanted to be a part of Satan’s world of deceit, destruction and discord. I desired to live the life God created me to live and fulfill His plan, His purpose and His destiny with my name attached to it!

There’s an old adage that says, “Hurt people, hurt people.” It is also true, “healed people, heal people”. Revelation 12:11 say, “And they overcame Him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony”. When I can stand with Godly boldness and a heart of sincerity and tell my story of deliverance and healing from the homosexual lifestyle, it will draw others to organizations such as Kingdom Seekers International.

Men, women, boys and girls are dying, because those of us who have been delivered from the very thing that held us in bondage and enslaved our minds, is not speaking loud enough and clear enough.

There is a deceptive underworld that wants to destroy the very core of humankind. The seed of homosexual lust and desires are being planted in the lives of our sons, daughters, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and families. Someone has got to say something. Someone has got to stand boldly on the Word of God and tell the truth ‘IN LOVE’.

I believe there are those who have no desire to change. Yet, there are countless numbers of men and women who are not happy in this lifestyle and want to be liberated of this. Kingdom Seekers provides an environment that will assist those who want to be set free from all sin. It is time that we deal with the issues that haunt us, the issues that render us ineffective for the work that God has called us to do. We don’t have to sit by day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year and literally see the enemy destroying our loved ones, our leaders and our families. There is something we all can do - - we can connect and attach ourselves to the Word of God through Kingdom Seekers.

This “My Time to Deal With It!” series can make a difference in the lives of so many. You’re not in this alone, you are not the only one struggling with homosexuality, prostitution, drug addiction, spirit of lying, self-mutilation, fornication, adultery, overeating, and the list goes on and on. Anything that keeps us from experiencing God in His fullness is bondage. God does not want anything to deter, delay or deny us of His plan and purpose for our lives. Connect and build relationships with those who have been through the very thing that you are struggling with. The Bible says that we are to comfort those with the same comfort God has comforted us with.

Through this series Kingdom Seekers International is seeking to assist you. Make a difference in the life of someone else.

Written By
Zachary W. Lavender
CEO – NewSong Music Inc.
March 2008

A LOOK WITHIN by Lawrence Beasley

2008-03-01T05:22:00.000-08:00

I just love you and appreciate the God in you. You will never know how much your ministry especially in the ministry of deliverance has helped me and propelled me to seek after God in a greater and more real way.

Your ministry has challenged me to desire to walk in a level of purity and genuineness that I had not been accustomed to seeing, especially in men. After the VOJ's anniversary your ministry has caused me to really examine those secret and hidden areas of my life: those areas that I had so perfectly and meticulously hidden and kept covered.

I recently purchased a tallit (prayer shawl) for my prayer time. With the tallit there was a book. The book talked about entering into your closet; however, the root word for closet in the text meant inner-chamber or secret place. It really hit me hard because I had to allow myself to admit that my inner-chamber and secret place had been polluted and clotted with sin and filth. It has been hindering my ministry, my interpersonal relationships not only with people of the opposite sex but family and friends.

Growing up in the church I had been officially taught that as long as you ministered to the best of your ability and gave it your all in that moment your lifestyle really didn't matter. I never accepted that notion in theory because it always made me feel uncomfortable. However, I still allowed myself to walk in the footsteps of my predecessors: ministering yet sinking. Singing, preaching, teaching, etc. but not really living the life I had presented to others. I feel so convicted now. When you ministered at our Missionary's day it got me! "We come in this holy place defiled." Sis. Pope, I've just recently come to the place where I can't do it anymore. I can no longer sit on the end of that pulpit defiled. I can't stand behind the sacred desk with toxic-poison in my spirit. Seeing the other youth in the choir stand, etc. singing but sinking following after our parents, grandparents hurts. So the change begins with me.

Sis. Pope, living this "double-life" has affected every area of my life. From my performance academically to keeping my room clean. I'm finding as I submit and confess more to Christ the rest of my life gently falls in place.

I've come to the place where I realize I've spent so much time trying to cover up the issues I've held in since -as I can remember- reaching adolescence and puberty that I've lost myself. This season is really me season to deal with it and in dealing with it finding myself. In the book of Matthew it talks about how when the wise man bowed in worship their treasure/gifts were unlocked and released. I'm finding that as I humble myself and bow (not just as in worship but in my lifestyle) to God he is revealing my gifts and treasures

I have somewhat adopted you as my spiritual mother. I know that this is a process but I'm encouraged by your testimony.

Keep me in your prayers and I'm excited about the deliverance, cleansing and freedom He is going to give me. While I can't be in the discipleship classes your ministry still has an indelible impression on me and is a catalyst for change in my life.

Your son,
Lawrence

ALTERATION

2008-03-01T05:20:00.000-08:00

COMING SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!

DECISION TIME

2008-01-25T09:33:00.000-08:00

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalm 34:19(KJV)

As I laid over the tub crying uncontrollably I began to release, no the word release does not adequately portray what was happening to me. I began regurgitating, vomiting the pain that had been buried, that I had carried for so long. The mixture of words that came gushing out of my mouth resembled the contents that the stomach ejects when something disturbs it, or enters it causing an irritation that produces the involuntary outpouring of its contents. The muscles of my stomach ached, my body felt depleted, and I was covered in sweat. The Lord had allowed me to enter this state so that I could experience, “casting all my care upon Him, for He cares for me.” I was unable to hide the pain any longer. It required too much. My son’s struggle irritated the womb which nurtured the turmoil within; and, caused the outpouring which was taking place. I went from CASTING to CONFESSING that I was not only overwhelmed, but that this stronghold had overtaken me.

CONFESSION set the stage for a level of honesty I had not exercised before.

ACKNOWLEDGING, ADMITTING the state I was in freed me to begin:

Dealing With It!

I went from CASTING to CONFESSING.

It was out in the open! No longer hidden, but this wasn’t enough. CONFESSION was a necessary first step, but was not the place to become stuck or stagnant. Quitting here would place me in jeopardy of falling into complacency. My CONFESSION was in danger of turning into self-condemnation. This was not an option for me. It was...

DECISION TIME

For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Luke 14:28(KJV)

God is so loving and desires that the eyes of our understanding be opened. So He allowed me to experience the DECISION process on the most practical terms. Keeping my house clean had become a chore. I am a wife/pastor’s wife, I have three very active children, I am active in ministry and a businesswoman. My life had gotten a little off balance. I would come home and confess/admit, “This house is filthy and needs cleaning!” Looking at the exterior of my house, you would have never imagined the disarray on the interior. The shame I felt over the condition of the interior of my home prevented me from allowing others in, even those as close as my parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews were not welcomed into my environment. Sometimes I would cry out of frustration, I would lash out at my family, and/or I would crawl in the bed and pull the comforter over my head praying for the physical and mental strength to attack this “cleaning” project. It was not until I DECIDED to prioritize my home that keeping it clean became a natural part of the process.

My home was filthy and uninviting to those far and near because my priorities were misplaced. There were rooms filled with clutter. The clutter on the inside began to take up residence on the enclosed back stairs. The deeper you’d travel you discovered the clutter was mixed with filth. The basement was the holding place for junk that I had DECIDED could wait to be addressed. I remember a telephone repair man coming to service our phone lines. When scheduling the repair visit, I thought the problem could be addressed from the outside. The problem was not on the pole on the outside of the building, but was internal. He needed access to not only the 1st and 2nd floor, but the basement. I was in a panic, but had no choice if I desired the phone lines properly repaired. While in the basement working on the phone lines, the gentleman indicated he had serviced us 7 years ago. He remembered once in the basement. The condition of the basement had not changed in 7 years. The same clutter, disarray, and filth still existed. It remained untouched and unattended. It really was too much for one person to handle, but shame and pride prevented me from even allowing those desiring to help me entrance into my home. My DECISION to keep the internal condition of my home hidden not only affected me, but those who lived with me. No one, not even my husband, was allowed to give entrance into our home to anyone. They could sit on the porch, but could not come inside the building.

The Lord was showing me this was not an external flaw, but internal. It was a character issue; therefore, it carried over/affected every area of my life including my parenting. It was not restricted to our building, but every area of my life was being touched by this flaw. What I gave externally was based on my internal condition. If my inside is defiled, then no matter how I dress up the outside, what I give, how I serve, how I witness, how I train, how I teach, and minister is tainted. To change the affect of what I give, my internal condition had to be addressed first. No matter how painful, how embarrassing or humiliating, it was my internal that needed a cleansing.

Now it was time to DECIDE what I prioritized. Should I continue the protection of the contents of the womb? The natural results of this DECISION would be the stronghold gaining greater ground; and, the root of bitterness would continue to spring up and defile/poison many more. Or, there was an alternative to this DECISION.

WHAT AM I WILLING TO GIVE UP?

I read somewhere: “in order to go up, you must give up.” The DECISION I now faced was: WHAT WAS I WILLING TO GIVE UP? This would determine if deliverance was priority for me.

The Lord was inviting me to GIVE UP my vow of self-preservation. This invitation was unsettling. It was going against the fabric of everything I’d practiced for years. Just as I had kept others away due to the condition of my brick and mortar home, I had devoted years to keeping others, family and friends, at a distance relationally to hide, mask, and conceal my internal condition. Now, I had to DECIDE if I was ready to GIVE UP, to let go of that which I struggled to shield and allow healing to begin.

This invitation was familiar. The Spirit brought to my remembrance another invitation to GIVE UP the Lord had presented. I realize now because HE is so wise HE was laying a foundation for this DECISION with other DECISIONS I’d previously faced. In 2004, my Pastor/Husband expressed his desire for the women of our Church to host a women’s conference. During our time of preparation, I asked that the committee join me every Monday evening from 6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. for prayer. During these times of prayer, we would seek God on behalf of our Pastor, the church, the membership and the conference. One Monday evening as I lay before the Lord on behalf of others, an invitation to GIVE UP was presented. The Lord was calling me to walk by faith and not by sight. In 2004, the Lord blessed my family through a business venture we’d undertaken. It proved prosperous and He allowed it to sustain us even when others experienced no consistency with this venture. I had become comfortable with this venture; and during this evening of prayer, the Lord was inviting me to give it up! He was calling me to a different venue, but I had to be willing to give this one up. I was being invited to give up what had become comfortable, predictable, and dependable. Here the battle ensued. As I attempted to lift myself from my prostrate position, I felt a pressing between my shoulders encouraging me to remain prostrate. My mind began racing. I wrestled with thoughts such as, “This is our source, how are we supposed to make it?” The Spirit replied, “I am your provision.” I countered, “How are we going to eat and take care of the necessities for living?” Then He says, “That’s my responsibility.” I responded, “I don’t want my children to be without or to struggle.” Then He asked, “Do you trust me?” As I lay with my face in the carpet that was now soaked with my tears, I admitted, “I am afraid of what trusting you means. I am afraid you might hurt me.” Then He replied in an ever so gentle, but reassuring voice, “TRUST ME.” I laid there weeping. This DECISION would require me to walk in a greater level of faith. Pain and discomfort are very real phases of the faith process. They are the portions of this process that I created the womb to escape. Now I was faced with this DECISION again. Before lifting from the floor, I DECIDED TO ACCEPT THE LORD’S INVITATION TO GIVE UP AND TRUST HIM. I made the DECISION to give up what had become comfortable, dependable, and predictable.

I SURRENDERED.
I went from CASTING to CONFESSING to SURRENDERING.

Lying over the tub I accepted the invitation to surrender my way of living for His way. I had confessed Him as my savior, but He had not become Lord of all in my life. My current situation was the undeniable evidence that I had not surrendered all to Him.

I DECIDED TO FOLLOW JESUS. NO TURNING BACK FOR ME, NO TURNING BACK!
My Journey to Dealing With It!
CONFESSION
DECISION

DECIDING to follow Jesus automatically means revealing the contents of the womb. My son was the catalyst He used to prod me into deliverance.

Submitting to His Will,

Tamara D. Pope

Scriptures for Study:
1Peter 5:7
Luke 14:25-35
Psalm 119:18
Matthew 12:43-45
Hebrews 12:15
John 8:36
Luke 18:18-22
Philippians 4:19
Matthew 6:25
Hebrews10:38-39
Proverbs 16:2
Matthew 15:17-20
Jeremiah 17:9-10

© 2008 by Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Inc.

We want to pray with you. Please post your prayer requests on the prayer board @ www.kingdomseek.org.

I FIGHT TO FOCUS

2008-01-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

As I press to publish the next portion in the “My Time to Deal With It!” Series, I am encountering many challenges. The magnitude of these challenges has increased in weight and severity. It’s been a Fight to Focus. The level of study and prayer that propelled and sustained me this time last year does not appear to be enough. I Fight to Focus during study. I Fight to Focus during my time of prayer. I began to question: if it is such a struggle and the obstacles appear insurmountable, maybe this is not the path the Lord would have me to travel. Maybe I heard Him wrong. Maybe it’s not the season for what He is speaking to me and showing me. My saying yes to God’s will for my life has not made me exempt from the process of life. I still feel pain. Even while hurting, I press to stay on target, I Fight to Focus. During the pain and turmoil, I find myself fighting depression, I Fight to Focus. While edifying, encouraging, praying for, and leading others I find myself becoming tempted to just plain quit, I Fight to Focus! Recently, in the midst of my personal struggle, the Spirit led me to the Garden of Gethsemane and the occurrences thereafter. In the garden, Jesus asked if this cup could pass from Him. Knowing what He was about to face, I wonder if His human side began to ponder: “Is there any other way we can accomplish this?” “Is this really necessary?” “I don’t deserve this!” After wrestling in prayer, He surrendered to the plan that had been laid out for Him even before He was placed in Mary’s womb. Jesus’ yes did not exempt Him from experiencing betrayal, being beaten, being slapped, being mocked, being pierced in the side, having a crown of thorns pressed on his head, and being crucified. He knew the purpose for His coming to earth. He knew what He would have to endure. Jesus knew that the end result of the lies, beatings, mocking, betrayal, and His death was HIS RESURRECTION! I now realize that these light afflictions (pain, suffering, trouble) are not meant to distract me; but God is draining the dross, the impurities from my life. Anything that looks like flesh must die so that God will be glorified.

The Lord keeps my assignment before me. Yes, “It's time for you to go back: I'm sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt." Exodus 3:10 (MSG)

SO, I WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT TO FOCUS!

For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, refuting arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ Being in readiness to punish every disobedience, when your own submission and obedience are fully secured and complete. “ 2 Corinthians 10:3-6

Submitting to His Will,
Tamara D. Pope

@ 2008 by Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Inc.

We would love to join you in prayer. Please post your prayer requests on the prayer board @ www.kingdomseek.org.

Confession

2007-07-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalm 34:19(KJV)

As I sat holding the phone, I fought back the tears that were swelling in my eyelids. Although I knew my son could not see my tears, he would be able to distinguish my state by the tremor in my voice. I felt his pain. I knew his struggle well. I’d avoided this painful area in my life for years and now the reflection of my neglect was seen in my son’s struggle.

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;Hebrews 12:15 (KJV)

One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with areas of bondage for me has been ADMITTING there is a problem. I was so accustomed to pretending nothing was wrong, that admitting I struggle, I need help, I AM HURTING was a breakthrough for me. The practice of concealing, and covering up provided me with years of protection. You see, disguising left me feeling less vulnerable than the alternative, admission/confession/confrontation.

CONFESSION

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9(KJV)

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16 (KJV)

Three years ago the Lord began challenging me in the area of honesty/confession. I was teaching the Teen Bible Class at my Church, and our focus for the quarter was the book “God Chasers”. We were discussing those things that hinder our intimacy with the Lord. For the purpose of our class, we called those hindrances “doors”. On one side of the door was the obstacle keeping us from God; and, on the other side was intimacy with God. The homework assignment for this particular week was to seek God regarding the doors that separated us from Him. That week, as I laid prostrate before the Lord, I cried out for more of Him. As I laid before Him seeking more of Him, He revealed the door it was time to deal with. It was honesty/confession. Not only did He show me the door I was to deal with, He also showed me three specific individuals to whom I was to confess my dishonesty. These individuals had been affected/harmed by my dishonesty 10-20 years earlier. I laid there crying. I could not believe the Lord was asking me to do this. “What would these individuals say?” “What would they think?” This would be so embarrassing, so humiliating. I felt so ashamed. The Lord saw my tears, but He was calling for obedience. To enter into the level of intimacy I was seeking, I had to obey. He wanted me to ADMIT I had attempted to cover the wrong I had done to someone else. He wanted me to confess it. I was being challenged to confront this area of bondage in my life. My not saying/confessing the wrong I had done, afforded me the privilege of pretending it had never happened. I didn’t talk about it. I just buried it. These three offenses were not alone. This same burial ground had served as a place of CARRYING, HARBORING, and HOLDING for several other OFFENSES for many years. Sometimes I was the offender, and at other times I was the offended. Though the offenses cohabitating in this hidden place were different, they shared a common bond. I had never dealt with them. They were never resolved. I had created a special place for them. You could say they were in a womb. The contents in this sack were pain, neglect, rejection, lies, anger, bitterness, hostility, and unforgiveness just to name a few. It was not an inviting atmosphere. It was toxic. This was a place of much pain.

This was not the first time the Lord had challenged me in the area of confession/honesty. In times past, I chose to protect the contents of the womb. Even though internally I was in turmoil, I was doing a wonderful job of concealing it. No one knew what lie within. I had an image to protect. All was well until the night I laid prostrate crying out for more of Him, and He was saying less of me. My desire for more of God was so great that it diminished my fear of the response of those to whom I was being called to confess. My heart’s desire was getting on the other side of the door that was blocking me from greater intimacy with Him.

As I called the first two individuals, I felt as if I was reliving these events all over again. My heart began to race. Thoughts ran through my mind such as, “Am I ready to confess?”, “What if they have questions?”, “What if they don’t accept my apology?”, What if they get angry?” “Please don’t let them answer the phone.” As the phone rang, I repeatedly, audibly said to God, “I just want more of You.” The words I spoke repeatedly countered the thoughts racing through my mind. (Proverbs 18:21) The first call was to my closest childhood friend. I shared with her the reason for my call and slowly began to confess. I had betrayed her confidence and allowed her to believe it was another friend’s doing. I will never forget her response. “Tammy, I still love you. Your confession was more for you than for me.” The second call was to my uncle with whom I’d been dishonest. I allowed him to believe my husband was responsible for an offense I committed against him. When confessing to my uncle, he indicated he didn’t even remember the incident. But he asked the question, “What made you call and apologize after all these years.” I responded, “I am seeking a closer relationship with God and He instructed me to confess my wrong to you.” He responded, “That’s why I love you so much.” The third person was my husband. I confessed to him my wrong in letting my uncle believe he was responsible for the offense I’d committed. It’s just my husband’s character to love me in spite of me.

This was major for me! I am a concealer not a confessor, but my desire for more of God, brought me to confession. This was a critical step for me, but it hadn’t dawned on me that I had only dealt with the fruit not the root. My dishonesty in these situations was the fruit of something with deep roots; and it was still hidden in the womb.

My son’s call was a, not so gentle, reminder that the stronghold remained. As he detailed his struggle, his words were giving life to those relics, those undealt with issues, lying dormant. I hung up the phone and made my way to the bathroom. This is my secret place. This is where I labor before the Lord. This is where he renews my strength, gives me direction, and provides healing. I laid over the bathtub and wept uncontrollably. I began to confess my pain to the Lord. Saying it seemed to intensify the pain, but it was necessary to say it! It was time to ADMIT I WAS HURTING. This admission was painful, but necessary for uprooting to begin.

My Journey to “ Dealing With It” Began With Confession

That which I DON’T CONFESS, I conceal/ hide. Concealing has proven toxic for me because these unresolved issues find a familiar place within me to reside and the STRONGHOLD GAINS GREATER GROUND. (Matthew 12:43-45)

Submitting to His Will,
Tamara D. Pope

© 2007 by
Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Inc.

We would love to join you in prayer. Please post your prayer requests on the prayer board @ www.kingdomseek.org.

My Struggle to Remain Obedient

2007-04-10T06:57:00.000-07:00

I am humbled by the response to the call of the Lord on my life to help His people identify and deal with those hidden issues in our lives. In Hebrews 12:15 we are warned to be careful, “……….. lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” The progression of present and future generations depends on our admitting the pain, the issue, the struggle exists; and, addressing those issues that were never meant to be hidden, but handled. What a legacy to leave our children and our children’s children!

As I prayerfully prepare for the publication of the 1st issue of the “My Time to Deal With It” series, I am wrestling spiritually and naturally on a level that is unfamiliar to me. This is new, un-chartered territory in my life. Toward the end of year 2006, the Lord began showing me that I would be required to walk in a greater level of faith in year 2007. During this season of consecration, the Lord has deposited within my spirit a resolve to remain obedient. Even though I have a resolve to move in obedience, I still struggle emotionally. Internally, I struggle with fear, and become anxious as the Lord continues to unfold His purpose for this ministry. I struggle with shame as I prepare to disclose those areas in my life that have been hidden for so long. I still struggle to protect areas that the Lord is calling me to expose. One of my daily devotional scriptures is Hebrews 10:38 which says, “Now the just shall live by faith: But if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.” My heart’s desire is to be pleasing to God. I read this scripture daily and still have considered retreating/turning back because the calling is beyond my comprehension. Yes I am struggling, but I am determined to move forward at His command.

I am so grateful for those the Lord is sending during this season of yielding to His voice. I praise God He knows what I need and when I need it. Sometimes I need a tough Word, to stir me to action and God sends His Word through my husband and Pastor, David M. Pope. At other times, I need Godly counsel and my mother, Gladys Daniels, will advise me, “The baby is out! You can’t put it back in the womb!” If I get a little lax, my Uncle Larry prompts me, “we need more, don’t stop.” The ministerial staff of the Brotherly Love M.B. Church, whom I love dearly, provides constant encouragement. Thank you Minister Francine Turner for the reminder that, “accepting the call does not mean that I am divorcing my emotions, but be obedient in spite of how I feel.” Thank you Minister Lance Ellis for reminding me to, “Do what God has called me to do.” I thank God for each of you and treasure your prompting, encouragement, and prodding. This ministry needs each person, named and unnamed, to help fulfill this assignment. It is so much bigger than me. God is using each of you to help advance this ministry for such a time as this.

Please know that I pray daily for each person the Lord is drawing to this ministry; and, who is hearing this call to healing. I ask that you pray with me that I remain obedient to the call of God; and, that His will be made manifest in my life.

Submitting to His Will,

Tamara D. Pope

@ 2007 by Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Inc.

We would love to join you in prayer. Please post your prayer requests on our prayer board @ www.kingdomseek.org.

"My Time To Deal With It!

2007-03-24T07:01:00.000-07:00

"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”
Psalm 34:19(NIV)

I once thought that the deliverance of the Lord came rapidly; and, meant an instant cure of every ailment, addiction, pain, suffering, or any area that sought to hold me captive. Deliverance has not occurred in my life in an instantaneous manner. It has been an ongoing process. Yes and painful too, because in the process of delivering me from what you and I see on the surface, the Lord is also dealing with the secret places in my life. You know the secrets we like to keep. Those tucked away areas that make us sick to our stomachs. Those areas that we fear anyone else discovering because if they knew, they would no longer love us, we would be lonely, isolated and ridiculed; we would be treated as lepers and castaways. Meanwhile, while keeping up appearances and facades, we are experiencing internal, self-inflicted torture. Sometimes the symptoms of this torture manifest themselves in the form of physical ailments such as: ulcers, and/or migraines. What has become more painful than the internal torture for me is observing my children display symptoms of the same secret places that I have fought so hard to hide, suppress, cover, ignore. A great man, Pastor Dr. Wilson Daniels, United Missionary Baptist Church, Chicago, IL, once told me, “Tam, these are the things great books are made of. So, start writing!”

So much of my life has been public, that there were just some things that I fought to keep private. Concealing these areas has been a struggle. It takes work! And then it became a way of life. Before I realized it, I lost sight of who I was. During this season of concealment, the Lord began to use me to stand and minister deliverance to others. My heart’s desire has always been to please God. It would be hypocritical of me to tell you to partake in a suffering that I have only experienced through reading. Paul admonishes us, “No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”
1 Corinthians 9:27(NIV)

I have been sharing a series of messages entitled, “OPERATION EXPOSURE!” In this series, the Lord has been leading me in uncovering those dark places, not only in my life, but in the lives of others and causing us to:

DEAL WITH IT!

As the Lord ushers healing into my life, I am sharing what I have received with His people. You see, I desire more than ministering a Word of deliverance. My desire is to show you how to walk into your deliverance.

One Morning, about 1:30 a.m., the Lord woke me and led me to this passage, “So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” Exodus 10:3 (NIV) I now realize that I have been sent to the Kingdom for such a time as this. For the Lord has chosen me to: “…uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant” Jeremiah 1:10 (NIV). Now is the season the Lord has chosen to get out of me, what He has placed in me, to be delivered through me for your breakthrough. If you are reading this tract asking the question, “Is she saying she has been called to minister?” my answer is an affirmative, “Yes!” I have been called to help you,

DEAL WITH IT!

©2007 by Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Incorporated

Would you like us to join you in prayer? Post your prayer requests on the prayer request board @ www.kingdomseek.org