Saturday, January 12, 2008

I FIGHT TO FOCUS

As I press to publish the next portion in the “My Time to Deal With It!” Series, I am encountering many challenges. The magnitude of these challenges has increased in weight and severity. It’s been a Fight to Focus. The level of study and prayer that propelled and sustained me this time last year does not appear to be enough. I Fight to Focus during study. I Fight to Focus during my time of prayer. I began to question: if it is such a struggle and the obstacles appear insurmountable, maybe this is not the path the Lord would have me to travel. Maybe I heard Him wrong. Maybe it’s not the season for what He is speaking to me and showing me. My saying yes to God’s will for my life has not made me exempt from the process of life. I still feel pain. Even while hurting, I press to stay on target, I Fight to Focus. During the pain and turmoil, I find myself fighting depression, I Fight to Focus. While edifying, encouraging, praying for, and leading others I find myself becoming tempted to just plain quit, I Fight to Focus! Recently, in the midst of my personal struggle, the Spirit led me to the Garden of Gethsemane and the occurrences thereafter. In the garden, Jesus asked if this cup could pass from Him. Knowing what He was about to face, I wonder if His human side began to ponder: “Is there any other way we can accomplish this?” “Is this really necessary?” “I don’t deserve this!” After wrestling in prayer, He surrendered to the plan that had been laid out for Him even before He was placed in Mary’s womb. Jesus’ yes did not exempt Him from experiencing betrayal, being beaten, being slapped, being mocked, being pierced in the side, having a crown of thorns pressed on his head, and being crucified. He knew the purpose for His coming to earth. He knew what He would have to endure. Jesus knew that the end result of the lies, beatings, mocking, betrayal, and His death was HIS RESURRECTION! I now realize that these light afflictions (pain, suffering, trouble) are not meant to distract me; but God is draining the dross, the impurities from my life. Anything that looks like flesh must die so that God will be glorified.

The Lord keeps my assignment before me. Yes, “It's time for you to go back: I'm sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt." Exodus 3:10 (MSG)

SO, I WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT TO FOCUS!

For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, refuting arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ Being in readiness to punish every disobedience, when your own submission and obedience are fully secured and complete. “ 2 Corinthians 10:3-6

Submitting to His Will,
Tamara D. Pope

@ 2008 by Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Inc.

We would love to join you in prayer. Please post your prayer requests on the prayer board @ www.kingdomseek.org.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Confession

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalm 34:19(KJV)

As I sat holding the phone, I fought back the tears that were swelling in my eyelids. Although I knew my son could not see my tears, he would be able to distinguish my state by the tremor in my voice. I felt his pain. I knew his struggle well. I’d avoided this painful area in my life for years and now the reflection of my neglect was seen in my son’s struggle.

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;Hebrews 12:15 (KJV)

One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with areas of bondage for me has been ADMITTING there is a problem. I was so accustomed to pretending nothing was wrong, that admitting I struggle, I need help, I AM HURTING was a breakthrough for me. The practice of concealing, and covering up provided me with years of protection. You see, disguising left me feeling less vulnerable than the alternative, admission/confession/confrontation.

CONFESSION

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9(KJV)

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16 (KJV)

Three years ago the Lord began challenging me in the area of honesty/confession. I was teaching the Teen Bible Class at my Church, and our focus for the quarter was the book “God Chasers”. We were discussing those things that hinder our intimacy with the Lord. For the purpose of our class, we called those hindrances “doors”. On one side of the door was the obstacle keeping us from God; and, on the other side was intimacy with God. The homework assignment for this particular week was to seek God regarding the doors that separated us from Him. That week, as I laid prostrate before the Lord, I cried out for more of Him. As I laid before Him seeking more of Him, He revealed the door it was time to deal with. It was honesty/confession. Not only did He show me the door I was to deal with, He also showed me three specific individuals to whom I was to confess my dishonesty. These individuals had been affected/harmed by my dishonesty 10-20 years earlier. I laid there crying. I could not believe the Lord was asking me to do this. “What would these individuals say?” “What would they think?” This would be so embarrassing, so humiliating. I felt so ashamed. The Lord saw my tears, but He was calling for obedience. To enter into the level of intimacy I was seeking, I had to obey. He wanted me to ADMIT I had attempted to cover the wrong I had done to someone else. He wanted me to confess it. I was being challenged to confront this area of bondage in my life. My not saying/confessing the wrong I had done, afforded me the privilege of pretending it had never happened. I didn’t talk about it. I just buried it. These three offenses were not alone. This same burial ground had served as a place of CARRYING, HARBORING, and HOLDING for several other OFFENSES for many years. Sometimes I was the offender, and at other times I was the offended. Though the offenses cohabitating in this hidden place were different, they shared a common bond. I had never dealt with them. They were never resolved. I had created a special place for them. You could say they were in a womb. The contents in this sack were pain, neglect, rejection, lies, anger, bitterness, hostility, and unforgiveness just to name a few. It was not an inviting atmosphere. It was toxic. This was a place of much pain.

This was not the first time the Lord had challenged me in the area of confession/honesty. In times past, I chose to protect the contents of the womb. Even though internally I was in turmoil, I was doing a wonderful job of concealing it. No one knew what lie within. I had an image to protect. All was well until the night I laid prostrate crying out for more of Him, and He was saying less of me. My desire for more of God was so great that it diminished my fear of the response of those to whom I was being called to confess. My heart’s desire was getting on the other side of the door that was blocking me from greater intimacy with Him.

As I called the first two individuals, I felt as if I was reliving these events all over again. My heart began to race. Thoughts ran through my mind such as, “Am I ready to confess?”, “What if they have questions?”, “What if they don’t accept my apology?”, What if they get angry?” “Please don’t let them answer the phone.” As the phone rang, I repeatedly, audibly said to God, “I just want more of You.” The words I spoke repeatedly countered the thoughts racing through my mind. (Proverbs 18:21) The first call was to my closest childhood friend. I shared with her the reason for my call and slowly began to confess. I had betrayed her confidence and allowed her to believe it was another friend’s doing. I will never forget her response. “Tammy, I still love you. Your confession was more for you than for me.” The second call was to my uncle with whom I’d been dishonest. I allowed him to believe my husband was responsible for an offense I committed against him. When confessing to my uncle, he indicated he didn’t even remember the incident. But he asked the question, “What made you call and apologize after all these years.” I responded, “I am seeking a closer relationship with God and He instructed me to confess my wrong to you.” He responded, “That’s why I love you so much.” The third person was my husband. I confessed to him my wrong in letting my uncle believe he was responsible for the offense I’d committed. It’s just my husband’s character to love me in spite of me.

This was major for me! I am a concealer not a confessor, but my desire for more of God, brought me to confession. This was a critical step for me, but it hadn’t dawned on me that I had only dealt with the fruit not the root. My dishonesty in these situations was the fruit of something with deep roots; and it was still hidden in the womb.

My son’s call was a, not so gentle, reminder that the stronghold remained. As he detailed his struggle, his words were giving life to those relics, those undealt with issues, lying dormant. I hung up the phone and made my way to the bathroom. This is my secret place. This is where I labor before the Lord. This is where he renews my strength, gives me direction, and provides healing. I laid over the bathtub and wept uncontrollably. I began to confess my pain to the Lord. Saying it seemed to intensify the pain, but it was necessary to say it! It was time to ADMIT I WAS HURTING. This admission was painful, but necessary for uprooting to begin.

My Journey to “ Dealing With It” Began With Confession

That which I DON’T CONFESS, I conceal/ hide. Concealing has proven toxic for me because these unresolved issues find a familiar place within me to reside and the STRONGHOLD GAINS GREATER GROUND. (Matthew 12:43-45)

Submitting to His Will,
Tamara D. Pope

© 2007 by
Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Inc.

We would love to join you in prayer. Please post your prayer requests on the prayer board @ www.kingdomseek.org.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My Struggle to Remain Obedient

I am humbled by the response to the call of the Lord on my life to help His people identify and deal with those hidden issues in our lives. In Hebrews 12:15 we are warned to be careful, “……….. lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” The progression of present and future generations depends on our admitting the pain, the issue, the struggle exists; and, addressing those issues that were never meant to be hidden, but handled. What a legacy to leave our children and our children’s children!

As I prayerfully prepare for the publication of the 1st issue of the “My Time to Deal With It” series, I am wrestling spiritually and naturally on a level that is unfamiliar to me. This is new, un-chartered territory in my life. Toward the end of year 2006, the Lord began showing me that I would be required to walk in a greater level of faith in year 2007. During this season of consecration, the Lord has deposited within my spirit a resolve to remain obedient. Even though I have a resolve to move in obedience, I still struggle emotionally. Internally, I struggle with fear, and become anxious as the Lord continues to unfold His purpose for this ministry. I struggle with shame as I prepare to disclose those areas in my life that have been hidden for so long. I still struggle to protect areas that the Lord is calling me to expose. One of my daily devotional scriptures is Hebrews 10:38 which says, “Now the just shall live by faith: But if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.” My heart’s desire is to be pleasing to God. I read this scripture daily and still have considered retreating/turning back because the calling is beyond my comprehension. Yes I am struggling, but I am determined to move forward at His command.

I am so grateful for those the Lord is sending during this season of yielding to His voice. I praise God He knows what I need and when I need it. Sometimes I need a tough Word, to stir me to action and God sends His Word through my husband and Pastor, David M. Pope. At other times, I need Godly counsel and my mother, Gladys Daniels, will advise me, “The baby is out! You can’t put it back in the womb!” If I get a little lax, my Uncle Larry prompts me, “we need more, don’t stop.” The ministerial staff of the Brotherly Love M.B. Church, whom I love dearly, provides constant encouragement. Thank you Minister Francine Turner for the reminder that, “accepting the call does not mean that I am divorcing my emotions, but be obedient in spite of how I feel.” Thank you Minister Lance Ellis for reminding me to, “Do what God has called me to do.” I thank God for each of you and treasure your prompting, encouragement, and prodding. This ministry needs each person, named and unnamed, to help fulfill this assignment. It is so much bigger than me. God is using each of you to help advance this ministry for such a time as this.

Please know that I pray daily for each person the Lord is drawing to this ministry; and, who is hearing this call to healing. I ask that you pray with me that I remain obedient to the call of God; and, that His will be made manifest in my life.

Submitting to His Will,

Tamara D. Pope

@ 2007 by Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Inc.

We would love to join you in prayer. Please post your prayer requests on our prayer board @ www.kingdomseek.org.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

"My Time To Deal With It!

"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”
Psalm 34:19(NIV)

I once thought that the deliverance of the Lord came rapidly; and, meant an instant cure of every ailment, addiction, pain, suffering, or any area that sought to hold me captive. Deliverance has not occurred in my life in an instantaneous manner. It has been an ongoing process. Yes and painful too, because in the process of delivering me from what you and I see on the surface, the Lord is also dealing with the secret places in my life. You know the secrets we like to keep. Those tucked away areas that make us sick to our stomachs. Those areas that we fear anyone else discovering because if they knew, they would no longer love us, we would be lonely, isolated and ridiculed; we would be treated as lepers and castaways. Meanwhile, while keeping up appearances and facades, we are experiencing internal, self-inflicted torture. Sometimes the symptoms of this torture manifest themselves in the form of physical ailments such as: ulcers, and/or migraines. What has become more painful than the internal torture for me is observing my children display symptoms of the same secret places that I have fought so hard to hide, suppress, cover, ignore. A great man, Pastor Dr. Wilson Daniels, United Missionary Baptist Church, Chicago, IL, once told me, “Tam, these are the things great books are made of. So, start writing!”

So much of my life has been public, that there were just some things that I fought to keep private. Concealing these areas has been a struggle. It takes work! And then it became a way of life. Before I realized it, I lost sight of who I was. During this season of concealment, the Lord began to use me to stand and minister deliverance to others. My heart’s desire has always been to please God. It would be hypocritical of me to tell you to partake in a suffering that I have only experienced through reading. Paul admonishes us, “No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”
1 Corinthians 9:27(NIV)

I have been sharing a series of messages entitled, “OPERATION EXPOSURE!” In this series, the Lord has been leading me in uncovering those dark places, not only in my life, but in the lives of others and causing us to:


DEAL WITH IT!


As the Lord ushers healing into my life, I am sharing what I have received with His people. You see, I desire more than ministering a Word of deliverance. My desire is to show you how to walk into your deliverance.

One Morning, about 1:30 a.m., the Lord woke me and led me to this passage, “So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” Exodus 10:3 (NIV) I now realize that I have been sent to the Kingdom for such a time as this. For the Lord has chosen me to: “…uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant” Jeremiah 1:10 (NIV). Now is the season the Lord has chosen to get out of me, what He has placed in me, to be delivered through me for your breakthrough. If you are reading this tract asking the question, “Is she saying she has been called to minister?” my answer is an affirmative, “Yes!” I have been called to help you,


DEAL WITH IT!

©2007 by Kingdom Seekers International Ministries, Incorporated

Would you like us to join you in prayer? Post your prayer requests on the prayer request board @ www.kingdomseek.org