By Zachary W. Lavender
The title of this article may be a bit disturbing to some, however, that is not the purpose or the intent. I so desire that every reader fully understand the whole premise and purpose of this article. I must make this disclaimer; I am not bashing homosexuals, I am not ridiculing homosexuals nor am I teaching or promoting hate toward homosexuals in any shape or form.
The homosexual lifestyle has taken my life in a whirlwind of confusion, deception, indecisiveness and a stronghold that is totally indescribable. For over 35 years I had struggled with my identity and sexuality to the point of not wanting to understand why God created me. But, something inside of me knew that the homosexual lifestyle was not the reason God designed me, yet, I wanted to live it, breathe it, and enter into every aspect of the behavior. It was not until November of 2000 I had a wake up call that would actually revolutionize my total existence and reason for life. I was diagnosed with the HIV virus - - the virus that causes AIDS. I had landed on a plateau that would set the rest of my life on a journey I never anticipated.
For seven very confusing and arduous years, I went on with life as if nothing was troubling me. I knew at any moment I could possibly have full-blown AIDS, and there was absolutely no one I could share my pain, my hurt, my discontentment, my embarrassment, my struggle with other than God. I was in trouble and I did not want to burden someone else with this very disturbing situation.
In the spring of 2007, I had a routine check-up with my primary care physician who proceeded with blood-work. Toward the end of the week, my doctor called and asked me to come in so that she could meet with me. At that time it was revealed to me all the blood-work for the HIV virus had come back negative. According to the doctor, I did not have the HIV virus. THERE WAS NO TRACE OF THE BLOOD IN MY BODY! At that very moment, while sitting in the doctor’s office, I experienced God’s presence.
The healing of HIV was not the only move of God in my life that led me to my deliverance from homosexuality. It was God’s Word and His power that destroyed the yokes of bondage and the deception of the enemy. When I begin to open the Word and allow what He has already said about my existence, my deliverance came forth. I made up my mind that I no longer wanted to be a part of Satan’s world of deceit, destruction and discord. I desired to live the life God created me to live and fulfill His plan, His purpose and His destiny with my name attached to it!
There’s an old adage that says, “Hurt people, hurt people.” It is also true, “healed people, heal people”. Revelation 12:11 say, “And they overcame Him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony”. When I can stand with Godly boldness and a heart of sincerity and tell my story of deliverance and healing from the homosexual lifestyle, it will draw others to organizations such as Kingdom Seekers International.
Men, women, boys and girls are dying, because those of us who have been delivered from the very thing that held us in bondage and enslaved our minds, is not speaking loud enough and clear enough.
There is a deceptive underworld that wants to destroy the very core of humankind. The seed of homosexual lust and desires are being planted in the lives of our sons, daughters, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and families. Someone has got to say something. Someone has got to stand boldly on the Word of God and tell the truth ‘IN LOVE’.
I believe there are those who have no desire to change. Yet, there are countless numbers of men and women who are not happy in this lifestyle and want to be liberated of this. Kingdom Seekers provides an environment that will assist those who want to be set free from all sin. It is time that we deal with the issues that haunt us, the issues that render us ineffective for the work that God has called us to do. We don’t have to sit by day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year and literally see the enemy destroying our loved ones, our leaders and our families. There is something we all can do - - we can connect and attach ourselves to the Word of God through Kingdom Seekers.
This “My Time to Deal With It!” series can make a difference in the lives of so many. You’re not in this alone, you are not the only one struggling with homosexuality, prostitution, drug addiction, spirit of lying, self-mutilation, fornication, adultery, overeating, and the list goes on and on. Anything that keeps us from experiencing God in His fullness is bondage. God does not want anything to deter, delay or deny us of His plan and purpose for our lives. Connect and build relationships with those who have been through the very thing that you are struggling with. The Bible says that we are to comfort those with the same comfort God has comforted us with.
Through this series Kingdom Seekers International is seeking to assist you. Make a difference in the life of someone else.
Written By
Zachary W. Lavender
CEO – NewSong Music Inc.
March 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
A LOOK WITHIN by Lawrence Beasley
I just love you and appreciate the God in you. You will never know how much your ministry especially in the ministry of deliverance has helped me and propelled me to seek after God in a greater and more real way.
Your ministry has challenged me to desire to walk in a level of purity and genuineness that I had not been accustomed to seeing, especially in men. After the VOJ's anniversary your ministry has caused me to really examine those secret and hidden areas of my life: those areas that I had so perfectly and meticulously hidden and kept covered.
I recently purchased a tallit (prayer shawl) for my prayer time. With the tallit there was a book. The book talked about entering into your closet; however, the root word for closet in the text meant inner-chamber or secret place. It really hit me hard because I had to allow myself to admit that my inner-chamber and secret place had been polluted and clotted with sin and filth. It has been hindering my ministry, my interpersonal relationships not only with people of the opposite sex but family and friends.
Growing up in the church I had been officially taught that as long as you ministered to the best of your ability and gave it your all in that moment your lifestyle really didn't matter. I never accepted that notion in theory because it always made me feel uncomfortable. However, I still allowed myself to walk in the footsteps of my predecessors: ministering yet sinking. Singing, preaching, teaching, etc. but not really living the life I had presented to others. I feel so convicted now. When you ministered at our Missionary's day it got me! "We come in this holy place defiled." Sis. Pope, I've just recently come to the place where I can't do it anymore. I can no longer sit on the end of that pulpit defiled. I can't stand behind the sacred desk with toxic-poison in my spirit. Seeing the other youth in the choir stand, etc. singing but sinking following after our parents, grandparents hurts. So the change begins with me.
Sis. Pope, living this "double-life" has affected every area of my life. From my performance academically to keeping my room clean. I'm finding as I submit and confess more to Christ the rest of my life gently falls in place.
I've come to the place where I realize I've spent so much time trying to cover up the issues I've held in since -as I can remember- reaching adolescence and puberty that I've lost myself. This season is really me season to deal with it and in dealing with it finding myself. In the book of Matthew it talks about how when the wise man bowed in worship their treasure/gifts were unlocked and released. I'm finding that as I humble myself and bow (not just as in worship but in my lifestyle) to God he is revealing my gifts and treasures
I have somewhat adopted you as my spiritual mother. I know that this is a process but I'm encouraged by your testimony.
Keep me in your prayers and I'm excited about the deliverance, cleansing and freedom He is going to give me. While I can't be in the discipleship classes your ministry still has an indelible impression on me and is a catalyst for change in my life.
Your son,
Lawrence
Your ministry has challenged me to desire to walk in a level of purity and genuineness that I had not been accustomed to seeing, especially in men. After the VOJ's anniversary your ministry has caused me to really examine those secret and hidden areas of my life: those areas that I had so perfectly and meticulously hidden and kept covered.
I recently purchased a tallit (prayer shawl) for my prayer time. With the tallit there was a book. The book talked about entering into your closet; however, the root word for closet in the text meant inner-chamber or secret place. It really hit me hard because I had to allow myself to admit that my inner-chamber and secret place had been polluted and clotted with sin and filth. It has been hindering my ministry, my interpersonal relationships not only with people of the opposite sex but family and friends.
Growing up in the church I had been officially taught that as long as you ministered to the best of your ability and gave it your all in that moment your lifestyle really didn't matter. I never accepted that notion in theory because it always made me feel uncomfortable. However, I still allowed myself to walk in the footsteps of my predecessors: ministering yet sinking. Singing, preaching, teaching, etc. but not really living the life I had presented to others. I feel so convicted now. When you ministered at our Missionary's day it got me! "We come in this holy place defiled." Sis. Pope, I've just recently come to the place where I can't do it anymore. I can no longer sit on the end of that pulpit defiled. I can't stand behind the sacred desk with toxic-poison in my spirit. Seeing the other youth in the choir stand, etc. singing but sinking following after our parents, grandparents hurts. So the change begins with me.
Sis. Pope, living this "double-life" has affected every area of my life. From my performance academically to keeping my room clean. I'm finding as I submit and confess more to Christ the rest of my life gently falls in place.
I've come to the place where I realize I've spent so much time trying to cover up the issues I've held in since -as I can remember- reaching adolescence and puberty that I've lost myself. This season is really me season to deal with it and in dealing with it finding myself. In the book of Matthew it talks about how when the wise man bowed in worship their treasure/gifts were unlocked and released. I'm finding that as I humble myself and bow (not just as in worship but in my lifestyle) to God he is revealing my gifts and treasures
I have somewhat adopted you as my spiritual mother. I know that this is a process but I'm encouraged by your testimony.
Keep me in your prayers and I'm excited about the deliverance, cleansing and freedom He is going to give me. While I can't be in the discipleship classes your ministry still has an indelible impression on me and is a catalyst for change in my life.
Your son,
Lawrence
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