"People Are Dying In My Silence"

By Zachary W. Lavender

The title of this article may be a bit disturbing to some, however, that is not the purpose or the intent. I so desire that every reader fully understand the whole premise and purpose of this article. I must make this disclaimer; I am not bashing homosexuals, I am not ridiculing homosexuals nor am I teaching or promoting hate toward homosexuals in any shape or form.

The homosexual lifestyle has taken my life in a whirlwind of confusion, deception, indecisiveness and a stronghold that is totally indescribable. For over 35 years I had struggled with my identity and sexuality to the point of not wanting to understand why God created me. But, something inside of me knew that the homosexual lifestyle was not the reason God designed me, yet, I wanted to live it, breathe it, and enter into every aspect of the behavior. It was not until November of 2000 I had a wake up call that would actually revolutionize my total existence and reason for life. I was diagnosed with the HIV virus - - the virus that causes AIDS. I had landed on a plateau that would set the rest of my life on a journey I never anticipated.

For seven very confusing and arduous years, I went on with life as if nothing was troubling me. I knew at any moment I could possibly have full-blown AIDS, and there was absolutely no one I could share my pain, my hurt, my discontentment, my embarrassment, my struggle with other than God. I was in trouble and I did not want to burden someone else with this very disturbing situation.

In the spring of 2007, I had a routine check-up with my primary care physician who proceeded with blood-work. Toward the end of the week, my doctor called and asked me to come in so that she could meet with me. At that time it was revealed to me all the blood-work for the HIV virus had come back negative. According to the doctor, I did not have the HIV virus. THERE WAS NO TRACE OF THE BLOOD IN MY BODY! At that very moment, while sitting in the doctor’s office, I experienced God’s presence.

The healing of HIV was not the only move of God in my life that led me to my deliverance from homosexuality. It was God’s Word and His power that destroyed the yokes of bondage and the deception of the enemy. When I begin to open the Word and allow what He has already said about my existence, my deliverance came forth. I made up my mind that I no longer wanted to be a part of Satan’s world of deceit, destruction and discord. I desired to live the life God created me to live and fulfill His plan, His purpose and His destiny with my name attached to it!

There’s an old adage that says, “Hurt people, hurt people.” It is also true, “healed people, heal people”. Revelation 12:11 say, “And they overcame Him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony”. When I can stand with Godly boldness and a heart of sincerity and tell my story of deliverance and healing from the homosexual lifestyle, it will draw others to organizations such as Kingdom Seekers International.

Men, women, boys and girls are dying, because those of us who have been delivered from the very thing that held us in bondage and enslaved our minds, is not speaking loud enough and clear enough.

There is a deceptive underworld that wants to destroy the very core of humankind. The seed of homosexual lust and desires are being planted in the lives of our sons, daughters, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and families. Someone has got to say something. Someone has got to stand boldly on the Word of God and tell the truth ‘IN LOVE’.

I believe there are those who have no desire to change. Yet, there are countless numbers of men and women who are not happy in this lifestyle and want to be liberated of this. Kingdom Seekers provides an environment that will assist those who want to be set free from all sin. It is time that we deal with the issues that haunt us, the issues that render us ineffective for the work that God has called us to do. We don’t have to sit by day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year and literally see the enemy destroying our loved ones, our leaders and our families. There is something we all can do - - we can connect and attach ourselves to the Word of God through Kingdom Seekers.

This “My Time to Deal With It!” series can make a difference in the lives of so many. You’re not in this alone, you are not the only one struggling with homosexuality, prostitution, drug addiction, spirit of lying, self-mutilation, fornication, adultery, overeating, and the list goes on and on. Anything that keeps us from experiencing God in His fullness is bondage. God does not want anything to deter, delay or deny us of His plan and purpose for our lives. Connect and build relationships with those who have been through the very thing that you are struggling with. The Bible says that we are to comfort those with the same comfort God has comforted us with.

Through this series Kingdom Seekers International is seeking to assist you. Make a difference in the life of someone else.


Written By
Zachary W. Lavender
CEO – NewSong Music Inc.
March 2008